Well here, we are, it's that time of year again. For many folks here in Christchurch, the end of this year in particular can't come fast enough. It's truly been the Year From Hell, so it's nice to be looking forward to some relaxing days ahead during the holiday season. As always though, there are ways in which we can make the holiday season less stressful,  more enjoyable and rewarding:

1. Refuse to buy the kids on your gift list anything plastic that was made in China. The gift will be broken before you even make it to the Christmas pudding. Although chances are, that the small person involved won't even notice, because they will have received a dozen other items of this calibre, and they probably won't remember that it was you that gave it to them. 
   
2. Remember too that the malls see Christmas as a huge marketing gig. Sales once upon a time use to start on Boxing Day- now they start before Christmas. Don't get caught up in mall hype. Don't go into any store that is playing Snoopy's Christmas.
3. We know that family en masse means that conflict is highly likely to be on the cards during some stage of the day's proceedings. Expect it. All families have conflict, and it's more likely to happen at Christmas for a whole variety of reasons. You can only control your own role in any family conflict.
4. You can't control what others may do or say, but you can monitor you own behaviour, so that you can feel OK with how you have conducted yourself. Leaving the host's house reasonably sober is also worth striving for, if you haven't managed that for a few years now.
5. Don't over-commit yourself by agreeing to visit five different sets of relatives on the day. Yes, this does happen....
6. If having extended family to your place, or visiting them, is too much to even contemplate, think about ways in which you can start to create your own rituals and traditions, which is the stuff that Christmas is made of. Then stay at home and do just that.
7. If you do wind up with the Whole Fam Damily at your place, make sure everyone has some sort of job to do. If you feel an obligation to do the whole lot (you martyr, you....), chances are you are going to wind up resenting everyone by the time the Christmas pudding arrives. People will feel more useful  & involved if they are doing something and you will be less stressed.
8. Remember that goats are now officially out as Christmas gifts. No one is giving them anymore. That idea never really took off. Send it back now, even if you got a really good deal....
9. Keep the technology at bay for the day, even if it means there's no Angry Birds, and you don't get to hear the Queen's message (it'll be just the same as the one she gave in 1985...).
10. Chances are that this Christmas is going to look fairly much like the one you had last year, and the year before that. What can you do to make it stand out, so that in ten years time, you are still saying to anyone who will listen "remember  that Christmas back in 2011, when I....."

If you want some additional ideas about managing conflict, especially in family relationships, have a look at these useful pointers...

A big thanks to  the increasing numbers of  people who have visited these pages throughout the year. Have a great Christmas.


Christmas Quote: Getting ready for Christmas is just like being at the office. You do all the hard work, and the fat guy in the suit gets all the credit.