Bruce Mcnatty, family & Couple Therapist.






 
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The Case of the Missing Compliment. 20/02/2011
 
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We live in an age (I think, anyway) where we are frequently attuned to people stuffing up. With all of us devoting a lot of time to whining and complaining about each other. We have mostly been shaped and conditioned this way from early in our lives in a whole lot of different ways.  And it's everywhere around us. Television news, and newspaper headlines are about the negative stuff, the bad things. An occasional funny or  positive item will really jump out, because it will be so unusual. Good news in general does not sell- we are all too attuned to the hard stuff, the bleaker darker aspects of human behavior.


So when I say we need to focus on the good, on the positive, it probably seems a bit twee, a bit superficial, unrealistic even, because after all, we live in a world which is highly attuned to failures and to deficits, such is human nature. And by just being more positive yourself- is that really likely to change the world? Maybe not- but it could certainly begin to change your world- and the worlds of those people you interact with or relate to.  


Have a go- assign yourself one day over the coming week, when you will focus only on the positive actions of others. You will notice these- no matter how small, or how minor these actions may appear, and you will mention them to the person or people involved, by giving a compliment, or some other form of praise.  Sure, chances are you will see a lot of negative stuff too during your quest- but on this day, choose to overlook it, and remain with your positive focus.


At the end of that day- take five minutes to evaluate how it went; how do you feel in comparison to any other day, when you did not focus on the positive? What do you think it may have done for those people, who were on the receiving end of your positivity?
Would there be any usefulness in continuing with this? Or if it's something you already do quite naturally (lucky you), how could you convince others of the benefits of doing the same?



 

 

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Opinions expressed on this site are not meant to take the place of face to face input from a qualified mental health professional in your community.